[Friday January 8th, 2010 2:31am] chopschops I am so happy and satisfied. sexually and otherwise. BABYSNAKES. Amanda, your hair looks bangin' gurl HEYYYyyYYYyYy JSHORE BBY. can't find my new pajamas, whatevershall I do? AH (0) fuck ups@#$!^%*

Day 66 [Thursday January 7th, 2010 1:21am] ohkatielynne Something dawned on me tonight. Amidst hundreds of college students and my church's interns at the youth service, I've grown content. Content with a feeling or a chill or a goosebump, content with my world being just a steady routine. I need more and I'm desperate for more. That word, desperate, is so powerful and strong. There are no other options, there are no other roads or avenues that I could choose to go down: just Jesus. It's all out on the table; I'm on a quest for more. Nothing else satisfies or comes close. I'm desperate, I'm hungry, I'm longing for you Jesus. AH (0) fuck ups@#$!^%*

Day 65 [Wednesday January 6th, 2010 1:17am] ohkatielynne For the last day, I've been having thoughts of moving out of state. It's weird because I know perfectly well that where I am is right where God wants me to be and where He wants me to stay. I think it's my rebellious mind set settling in. I need to redirect the energy I'm putting into worrying about my future, toward seeking God and what He has for me here, because there is still so much more I have yet to discover. People may make plans in their minds, but only the Lord can make them come true. Proverbs 16:1 (NCV) AH (4) fuck ups@#$!^%*

surprise [Monday January 4th, 2010 5:12pm] nikkitee ... : ) thats all i have to say AH (0) fuck ups@#$!^%*

Day 62 [Sunday January 3rd, 2010 7:59pm] ohkatielynne [ music | Hillsong - In Your Freedom ] But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. Galatians 5:22 (MSG) If you've known me for any length of time before I became a Christian, then you'd know that I didn't have the slightest clue as to who I was. I was slowly dying inside. I jumped from one hobby to another, all in attempt to figure out what my niche was. I had begun to allow my pain, my angry, my resentment, my emotional state of being to define who I am. Diving into Christ, Someone who knows me better than I will ever know myself because He created me, I've begun to figure out who I am. Diving into Christ, you find yourself AND Christ. Diving into Christ, you have freedom to be who you were created to be. The word freedom takes on a completely new meaning when you're in Christ. Social norms don't exist. For the first time, I know what it feels to be alive. It's for that reason that my life belongs to Him. What He's done for me is beyond anything I could ever do for Him, so I praise Him and love Him and honor Him with my whole life. In Your freedom I will live, I offer devotion AH (2) fuck ups@#$!^%*

Day 60 [Friday January 1st, 2010 9:47pm] ohkatielynne I think a lot about the line, "I cannot run, Your love is chasing me". The only words that come to mind: relentless, unremitting. The definition for relentless didn't really match up well, but unremitting did. un⋅re⋅mit⋅ting [uhn-ri-mit-ing] –adjective not slackening or abating; persistent. You can't ever escape the hand of God because no matter where you go or what you did, God's hand is in everything. From the family you were born into, to the friends who come and go in your life, to the job you have, the food you eat, His hand is in it all. Looking at all of this as a whole, the human mind can't comprehend God's greatness. How someone could have that much control, but then I'm reminded that He isn't someone, He is God. He's greater than anyone, anything, any place or time. He is greater because He is the creator. I'm constantly trying to comprehend, because my mind wants to put Him in a box and figure Him out, but I never will. I will spend my entire life trying to figure God out and understand Him, but I can't. There's so much beauty is this unknown. That unknown allows for my awe to be ceaseless. In a strange way, my mind not being able to wrap itself around who God is, is a gift. I'm thankful for it because never will my awe of Him end. God's love has been chasing me my entire life, and it will chase you for every second of every minute of every hour of every day. He will chase after you until you can't run anymore. And then you'll give in. Giving in, I thought it made me weak but it actually showed strength. Strength in what you believe right down to your core. I cannot run, Your love is chasing me. AH (2) fuck ups@#$!^%*

Day 59 [Thursday December 31st, 2009 7:18pm] ohkatielynne [ music | Leeland - Too Much | Powered by Last.fm ] A little dance for the New Year. Everyone is talking about New Years resolutions right now. My resolution is to not have a resolution. Resolutions, they are all just God-less visions, that's why they aren't successful. God first spoke this truth to me about a month ago and now that we're nearing the end of the year, it's clear to me that I'm not to go that route. Resolutions are restrictions, they're a confinement and a disappointment. Not having a resolution keeps you free from the bondage of having to do something, forcing yourself to do something. If you change, let it be by God's unmerited, unrelenting grace, not through your own efforts because doing so wears you down. Allow your spirit to be free and full of life! I learned that the best way to change was to start in prayer, because God can do all things. If you want to lose weight, pray for the motivation and determination to work out and eat better. If you want to do better in school, pray for the strength to stay strong in your studies, never lacking the focus to get your work done. You don't need the first of a new year to change. Every day is a new day. AH (2) fuck ups@#$!^%*

Day 58 [Thursday December 31st, 2009 12:20am] ohkatielynne [ music | Phil Wickham - Heaven & Earth | Powered by Last.fm ] Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. Matthew 6:22 Sometimes I'll sit at my computer for hours, just gazing at photographs of extravagant landscapes and free spirits. Those photographs, in combination with God's Word, are what nourish my soul. Those photographs take away all of the confusion in the world and only show you how we are meant to live. Free of hurt, free of pain, free of confusion and worry and anxiety. Just beauty. Those photographs embody the eyes of Jesus, the unspoken and uncomprehendable beauty that only He can see amidst this world's chaos. I want eyes to see like that, I want eyes like Jesus. I used to be envious of free spirits, until I realized I could become one. Be generous with me and I'll live a full life; not for a minute will I take my eyes off your road. Open my eyes so I can see what you show me of your miracle-wonders. I'm a stranger in these parts; give me clear directions. My soul is starved and hungry, ravenous!—insatiable for your nourishing commands. Psalm 119:17 AH (1) fuck ups@#$!^%*

Day 57 [Tuesday December 29th, 2009 4:58pm] ohkatielynne In all of my searching and seeking thus far, I've come out feeling more alive than I ever have before. It's feelings and emotions, strength and courage and bravery, being loved and loving in return. There is so much unspeakable, indescribable beauty in feeling alive. For me, it's like I can do anything, I can accomplish anything... but I don't need to. I'm completely enamored and consumed by Jesus and what he has for me in this life, that nothing else matters. I get so excited when I think about who He's going to bring into my life because He uses those individuals as tools to shape who I am to become. I am who I am by the grace of God and Him bring those select, amazing individuals just shows how gracious He is, that He'd desire for me to grow and cultivate deep relationships with godly people. I'm also excited to see how He's going to work everything out for my good. I was denied all financial aid for school recently but I hold tightly to Him and His promises. He knows the desires of my heart and will provide. With God anything is possible. Not only will He provide, but He will provide abundantly! AH (2) fuck ups@#$!^%*

[Tuesday December 29th, 2009 10:16am] inlovingmemoryr [ mood | discontent ] Christmas never did hit me. AH (1) fuck ups@#$!^%*

Day 53 [Friday December 25th, 2009 2:29pm] ohkatielynne Merry Christmas everyone! I went to a candle lit service last night at my church, which was wonderful. We sang Christmas songs and my pastor preached on who Jesus is: Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace. He prayed for each of us to receive a miracle this Christmas and I pray that it does because I need a miracle to pay for school. Today is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, not a celebration of presents and selfishness. I hope that everyone keeps that in mind. Hug a stranger, wave at cars as they drive by, say hello to that person you've been avoiding. 2010 is so close, let's get out of our routines and do something different this new year. Let's give, give, give, instead of take, take, take! Love you all! For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6 AH (4) fuck ups@#$!^%*

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]